Roast my Twitter

The number at the top is one thing and one thing only: the share of that account's recent posts that were not worth reading. It is not a grade for the person, it is not a measure of how well those posts did, and it has nothing to say about follower counts. Every post is read on its own and dropped into one of three buckets. A Pass counts as a whole point of slop, a Skim counts as half, and a Read counts as nothing. Add those up, divide by how many posts were read, and that is your slop score. The dial runs green on the left, where there is almost no slop, to red on the right, where nearly all of it is. A handful of thin posts will move the needle, which is the point: the number is meant to notice the filler you have stopped noticing.

Worth reading does not only mean useful. A post that is genuinely funny counts. So does a real story about something that happened to you. The question is whether a reader got something out of it, and a good joke clears that bar the same way a number does. What does not clear it, and what lands in the slop, is a post that only wants something back from you.

Every post gets the same short list of yes or no questions. Does it say something specific. Does it say something new. Is it begging for replies. Is it selling something. Is it nice sounding empty words. Is it actually funny. The answers decide the bucket, and the buckets are buckets, not grades.

Say the account is @samplehandle. "Cut our onboarding from 11 screens to 3 and activation went from 24% to 41% in two weeks" is a Read: a real number, a real change, something you did not know a second ago. "Most pricing pages are too long" is a Skim: probably true, nothing underneath it, worth a glance if pricing is your week. "Reply TEMPLATE and I will DM you the cold email that landed our first ten customers" is a Pass: the post is a request, not a thing to read.

Skim is not a soft Pass. It is the honest answer when a post is short, is a reply out of its context, or leans on a picture the words never explain. Look at the three counts together rather than arguing with any single card.

The slop score lands on a five wedge dial, green on the left and red on the right, and the face changes with the wedge. The bands are It's over 83 to 100, Slop 71 to 82, Mid 51 to 70, Actually decent 36 to 50, We're so back 0 to 35. Most accounts land in the top half of the dial, which surprises people until they scroll their own feed with the buckets in mind. Sixty percent slop is a normal, busy account with a lot of filler in it. Anything under thirty is rare, and Jev will say so.

Four things pull a post down, and none of them is about writing badly. A post can be well written and still be filler. What matters is whether there is anything in it for the person reading, and that includes a laugh or a story, not just a fact.

Engagement bait is the big one. That is any post whose real job is to collect a reply rather than to tell you something: comment below, tag a founder, reply with a word and I will send you the thing, drop your handle. It travels well, because asking for a reply is the cheapest way to get one, and it reads as a Pass every time.

A promo is a post that is there to sell, launch or hire. One of those in a week is a person with a job. Eight of them is a billboard. Empty words are the sentences that sound wise and carry nothing: consistency beats intensity, the best growth hack is a good product, show up every day. They are easy to agree with and there is nothing to take away.

Reposts are handled differently. They are skipped, not scored. A repost is someone else doing the talking, so counting it either way would be measuring the wrong person. The result tells you how many were skipped, and if most of a timeline is reposts you will see a small number of posts read and a large number skipped, which is its own kind of answer.

Any public handle works, not just yours. Most people roast a friend first and themselves second, which is the correct order. The result gets its own link, so you can send it straight to the person in question, and the share image carries the score and the face without needing the page at all. Private accounts are the one limit. If the posts are not public, there is nothing to read, and the page says so rather than inventing a number.

Three buttons sit next to the result. Save image downloads the card: score, face, meter, one roast line. Copy link copies the address of this exact result, which opens for anyone. Post on X opens the composer with the text already written, and you decide whether to send it. Nothing is posted for you and nothing is connected to your account.

It reads the words in recent posts. That is the whole input. It does not see follower counts, likes, reposts, views or reach, so a post with 4,000 likes and a post with four are judged the same way. It does not look at your history, your niche or who you are. It does not try to work out whether a post was written with AI, and any tool that claims to do that reliably is guessing.

It also only sees the most recent 40 posts, so a good week and a bad week can give the same account two different scores. Treat it as a read on what you have been posting lately, not a verdict on you.

A low score is usually one habit repeated, not forty separate mistakes. If the roast is mostly bait, the fix is to stop asking and start saying. If it is mostly empty words, the fix is to write about the thing you actually did this week, with the number in it. If it is mostly reposts, the fix is to have your own thing to say in the morning.

To size up the account rather than the posts, the X Profile Audit gives you the numbers side of the picture in one page. To catch a weak post before anyone sees it, the Tweet Tester reads a draft the way this page reads a timeline and tells you where it lands. Inside SuperX the same judging runs on your drafts, your queue and your replies, and through the API, MCP server and CLI when you want an agent to do the pass for you.

Reading well and posting well are two halves of the same hour. The Doomscroll Filter runs this judging across a whole niche instead of one account, so you can see what is worth reading today. Best Time to Tweet shows the hours your audience is actually awake. The rest of all free Twitter tools sit on the tools hub, free and without a login.