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I’ve had three patients disappear into the fenbendazole/ivermectin rabbit hole and it killed them. Showed back up with bigger lung cancer tumors and metastatic spread all over the body. I don’t know whose anecdotes gets to win in the end but there is no secret cure.

Seems to me like we need a “new” kind of car or pick-up that is really the old kind. Simple combustion engines. Small block 350s. Analogue gauges. Heater and A/C. Windows hand rolled down. Unlock and start with a physical key. No computers. Only the most basic of electronics. These would be much cheaper than the current stuff on offer and many many many people would be happy with simple for the price.

HRV “measured” at the wrist like with whoop, garmin, fitbit, etc. is a random number generator.

I felt like writing a post in defense of physicians. We seem to be getting a lot of crap recently. But I don’t know really where to start or what say. There is so much cynicism and bad faith and really plain unhidden contempt these days. But why? Because we can’t fix you? And never could? Because you want us to be something we are not? A coach. A trainer. A knower of all things nutrition and all things non-pharmaceutical. A knower of every little niche thing you’re into. That isn’t how we are taught or trained. But that’s our fault somehow that the reality of us doesn’t meet with the expectation of you? You’re mad about how we don’t have long periods of time for you and this can lead to less accurate or optimal diagnosis or treatment. You’re mad the drugs cost a lot. You’re mad you pay for health insurance and it seems like it never pays for much. Yet, none of those phenomena are the fault of physicians. We’re mad about those things too. You’re mad about Covid. And vaccines. A pandemic we didn’t create. Nor other endemic viruses we had anything to do with. You blame us for the vaccines and policies put into place by politicians bureaucrats as if we are personally responsible. You get mad we make a good salary. Tell us we only make this money because we did dirty tricks to prevent there from being enough doctors. Decisions made decades ago based on predictions that seemed reasonable then but turned out wrong now that those of us working currently had nothing to do with. Our knowledge, experience and expertise downplayed. All that is needed out there is a smart teenager with an AI and access to any chemical they want. I don’t even know how you even begin going after addressing all of it. It’s rather daunting. I’m not sure I can, so I won’t try. The thing is I don’t owe anyone any explanations or apologies. I’ve showed up every gd of this job to be the best doc I could for the people the Lord put in my path. And I’ve manned the f*cking wall against the dragons and barbarians with honor for a decade. I run into the rooms of the sick when everyone else is running out. I’ve stood in the gaps between life and death and fought hard for everyone, even the ones I lost. And you never really ever forget the ones you lose. It’s been nights, weekends, holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, & kids sporting events. I’ve taken those hits to my health and to my family life for the same people who just want to sh*t all over me and my profession today and it’s so heartbreaking & disappointing. I guess maybe you were disappointed by a doctor at some point. We clearly aren’t infallible. We have bad days too. You can see the burnout in the way they make many physicians in clinic practice. I don’t know what to tell you about the guys that are really awful. They do exist. They also aren’t all or even most physicians. Most of what everyone is mad about has nothing to really do with us. It’s policies and laws made bureaucrats, politicians & corps. We simply exist in it. Try to work inside the crazy nonsense ourselves. We’ve never had a “lobby” and it might be interesting to see what things would look like if we actually did. There are people working in this now. But mostly physicians have been too busy just being docs to get all caught up in any of it. There is barely anything left after a week in clinic for my family and some working out let alone some cynical ploy or play to keep it hard for people to become physicians. I don’t know if enough people really understand that. How really taxing and exhausting the work is. I wouldn’t wish the responsibility on anyone either. Heavy is the white coat … This post probably won’t change any minds of the bad faith actors but I do hope it in some way humanizes us to you if only in some small way. I’m just one guy fighting the good fight. On tonight actually and holding down the fort. If any are in need of my expertise, and I hope not (no one meets me in a good day), I’m here.

Every man’s TRT journey is fairly similar. I’m going to speak in generalities that cover the highlights. Don’t get bogged down in those weeds. The brush strokes are broad. Usually somewhere around age 35+ guys start feeling “off”. These aren’t lazy guys. Often hard charging guys. Stressful lives and jobs. Family men with a wife, kids, and responsibilities. They notice they’re putting on a bit of weight. But it’s not ridiculous and they decide to get more serious about the gym or exercise and their diet and this keeps much at bay for a long time. This often actually improves things and sometimes by a lot at this stage. Which lasts usually 3-5 years. Then they begin to notice the creep again. As hard charging guys they know they are just being babies and double down on hard but find that doubling down isn’t working. The extra gear they always used to have just doesn’t seem to be there any longer. And for a period of time the extra gear will occasionally rear its head and fool a guy making him think it’s back. But it’s not. It eventually disappears. This is usually the point when the weight begins to slide again. It’s also a common time for many guys to just begin the “giving up” process, “embrace”middle age and getting old and out of shape and fat. The guy that eventually moves onto TRT doesn’t find the giving up satisfactory. At all. He begins to try longer rest periods. He begins looking into why he’s feeling blah with low energy, low motivation, low libido, no gains in the gym, and long recoveries. Hes even mildly depressed. And weight at this point may be sliding up even faster than is comfortable and he knows it. Maybe his wife or kids have said something. Maybe he had to buy new sized pants for the first time in a decade. He’s not stupid and correctly identifies that he’s having symptoms of low testosterone. And he spends the next 18-24 months reading, watching videos and trying supplements. The tongkat, fadogia, fenugreek, tribulus, pine pollen. Maybe he finds the Peaters and goes ham on pregnenolone. He probably sees his regular doctor who argues about checking his testosterone, finally dies grudgingly, and then refuses to do anything about a low number because it’s not low enough. They might also be reading online scolds about giving into treatment with testosterone when all they need to do is be better men. It’s not a medical issue, it’s a … moral one. And the reason that testosterone isn’t naturally high is because they are too fat, don’t eat good, don’t sleep good, and won’t manage their stress (as if quitting their jobs, not making the mortgage, and feeding the kids is an option). They might see an influencer who lives on the beach, single, no kids, sleeps when he wants, works out when he wants, eats fresh local meat, fruit, and veggies only, swims in the ocean every day getting that grounding and that magnesium. High natural T. Looks great. If only … They get told that once you are taking testosterone that you can never stop. Which isn’t true. But the ignorant and the liars seem very persuasive at times. So they stew. Just cook in it. But finally they get sick and tired of being sick and tired and they find a doc who is facile with testosterone in the man with symptomatically low levels. They reach out. They pull that trigger. And … they don’t realize how down bad they were or awful they felt until they start feeling better. And sometimes it’ll take a month or two to notice a huge difference while some guys notice improvements in a few days. The life is changed. He feels confident again and strong. He loses weight. He makes gains in the gym. Him and his wife … get “friendly” 😉 again, regularly. That’s the arc. And if you’re wondering about it reach out to a doc who is familiar. You’re not a bad guy trying to get good. No moral failings. You’re a regular guy that stress, life, and age put into a state. You don’t need to stay there. You don’t. Please don’t. Take it back today.

I don’t even know how I am still married sometimes. And I don’t think I’m qualified to give anyone advice. So I won’t. I kind of wish someone would have given me a sense though of how hard and beautiful it would be. Sometimes. Being real now. THE only reason we didn’t call it quits was because neither of us was ever thought of quit at the same time. So we maybe got lucky. One of us always holding on and not letting the other go. We both played that role more than once. And it did get hard sometimes. But. Idk. You just hang in there with someone long enough and you just know them. You get disappointed in them and they you. Mistakes get made. Things get said in anger and frustration and sometimes loneliness but you also respect and trust that person. Like. You know who they are. And they’re a good person with flaws just like you. You learn to accept them as flawed but beautiful and they you. And you just grow. The annoying stuff never stops annoying and they know it’s annoying but they try to be better about and so do you. You go through things in this state. And it tests you. Sometimes really hard. You make concessions. And sacrifices. And so do they. One day you realize that you’re a knuckleheaded hardcase full of flaws and despite that you’re got someone in your life who has your back and would stab a mfer in the face to protect you. Wants what is best for you. Your heart melts at the thought. And you give grace like you wouldn’t to anyone else. Because THAT shit matters. And it’s gorgeous. It’s not romantic but REAL.

Blocking all over today. Anyone making excuses for Kirk’s murder with, “I don’t condone political violence but Kirk was asking for it with his bad thoughts,” gets blocked. No tolerance. I’m tolerant fatigued. My “tank of tolerance” is dry and dusty inside.

Has anyone ever wondered why the natives living in this country at the time of Columbus didn’t build their own ships, sail across the Atlantic, and conquer Europe? Or does that kind of get awkward?

A decent good chunk percentage of BOTH “long covid” and “mRNA vaccine injured” are psychosomatic. Crazy people love to latch onto an illness that is vague to describe, diagnose, and treat, making it nigh impossible to sort out who has a real issue and who is just … nuts.

Those of us in medicine that think this is a calling, and I do, are suffocating to death in the corporate/big system medical complex. It should be better than this for patients. I envision a new, and perhaps parallel system. All cash based. I think it’s where all good docs will end up eventually. If they don’t simply leave the profession.

A bunch of bad livers from alcohol on the service today. One isn’t going to make it. I’m going to pull the other two out of the fire. The one dying I’ve personally saved twice in the past. Back to drinking. Always back to it. Alcoholism is such an awful disease.

Oldest son f*cked with a couple of his idiot buddies to a hot springs for a couple nights. They’d saved up. Staying in humble lodgings. My wife was all beside herself. Worry. What if. Women don’t get it. Young men need adventures. I thought back to a time myself, same age…

All the “sleep 8 hours” per night Bros aren’t over 45. You all can do with that whatever you like.

A few years of no income tax and I don’t think you’d recognize my life for all the work I’d have that extra money in my hands doing. Things paid off. New business started. Family members helped. Give me a few years and it won’t matter if it comes back. That why they hate this.

I know I’ve been on a tear the last week. And this isn’t a politics account. Even if I do often comment. A bit exhausted by all of that today. I don’t really want to comment more about it. You all saw me say my peace. Repeatedly. My heart is broke tonight. Over my country. My people. I can see the moral decay so much more clearly tonight. And it’s a spiritual problem. I see that. Clearly. I’m not a religion or religious account even much less than I am political. But here I am anyway wrestling with the spiritual problem. As “we wrestle not with flesh and blood …” I’m not here to sell anyone on whatever it is I believe, especially since I often am not so sure myself. I’m not hear to preach at anyone as I’m no preacher and I can see my flaws (the ones I can see) clearly and I’m in no position to lecture anyone on idk … anything. I realize what I saw last week was evil on a train, evil at a peaceful event, and then more evil as an assassination was celebrated. I further realized tonight on my drive home the problems are in the heart. It took me this long to really organize these thoughts as they slowly came together. A discernment I won’t take credit for. I’ve been at this emotionally with a righteous indignation and at this from a reasoned logic position. But I haven’t been at this from the place of the spiritual. A place far less polemic, but more, perhaps nebulous, but also straightforward. The spiritual condition of the heart. When they “will call evil good and good evil,” is where we find ourselves. A sickness of the heart. A spiritual matter. Not fixed by arguments. Not fixed by punishments. Not fixed by any human intervention or means. The only fix for the sick heart is God. His Spirit. The message I’m getting. No booming voice in my head. No prophet utterings or any such thing. But the message I’m getting is that God is calling us to Him. Come Home. The Spirit is moving in this world and we are being called out of Babylon, “come out of her, my people” It seems like it’s time to “set our sights on things above.”Looking to the “unseen, for what we can see is transient and passing away.” Vapor. Dust. I’ve always been a believer of some stripe. It never made any sense that there wasn’t a God even with the pain in the world. Not to me. But I’ve largely lived my life like God didn’t exist. Could you tell the difference between me and a secular man? No. I don’t know exactly what any of this means in a more practical sense tonight but going forward, “me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” My prayers this weekend were powerful in my life as I earnestly sought my Creator seriously for the first time in a long long long while. And He found me there. The repairs of the heart in my life will begin with me. Must. As a necessity.

It’s almost been a year since I got rid of the sleep monitoring at night. No clue about HRV, deep, rem and … I’m surprisingly still alive. How am I supposed to know if I dided (ded) in my sleep? Good question. The sign I use? I wake up. You’re. Not. That. Fragile.

Seems to me like we need a “new” kind of car or pick-up that is really the old kind. Simple combustion engines. Small block 350s. Analogue gauges. Heater and A/C. Windows hand rolled down. Unlock and start with a physical key. No computers. Only the most basic of electronics. These would be much cheaper than the current stuff on offer and many many many people would be happy with simple for the price.

I’ve had three patients disappear into the fenbendazole/ivermectin rabbit hole and it killed them. Showed back up with bigger lung cancer tumors and metastatic spread all over the body. I don’t know whose anecdotes gets to win in the end but there is no secret cure.

I felt like writing a post in defense of physicians. We seem to be getting a lot of crap recently. But I don’t know really where to start or what say. There is so much cynicism and bad faith and really plain unhidden contempt these days. But why? Because we can’t fix you? And never could? Because you want us to be something we are not? A coach. A trainer. A knower of all things nutrition and all things non-pharmaceutical. A knower of every little niche thing you’re into. That isn’t how we are taught or trained. But that’s our fault somehow that the reality of us doesn’t meet with the expectation of you? You’re mad about how we don’t have long periods of time for you and this can lead to less accurate or optimal diagnosis or treatment. You’re mad the drugs cost a lot. You’re mad you pay for health insurance and it seems like it never pays for much. Yet, none of those phenomena are the fault of physicians. We’re mad about those things too. You’re mad about Covid. And vaccines. A pandemic we didn’t create. Nor other endemic viruses we had anything to do with. You blame us for the vaccines and policies put into place by politicians bureaucrats as if we are personally responsible. You get mad we make a good salary. Tell us we only make this money because we did dirty tricks to prevent there from being enough doctors. Decisions made decades ago based on predictions that seemed reasonable then but turned out wrong now that those of us working currently had nothing to do with. Our knowledge, experience and expertise downplayed. All that is needed out there is a smart teenager with an AI and access to any chemical they want. I don’t even know how you even begin going after addressing all of it. It’s rather daunting. I’m not sure I can, so I won’t try. The thing is I don’t owe anyone any explanations or apologies. I’ve showed up every gd of this job to be the best doc I could for the people the Lord put in my path. And I’ve manned the f*cking wall against the dragons and barbarians with honor for a decade. I run into the rooms of the sick when everyone else is running out. I’ve stood in the gaps between life and death and fought hard for everyone, even the ones I lost. And you never really ever forget the ones you lose. It’s been nights, weekends, holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, & kids sporting events. I’ve taken those hits to my health and to my family life for the same people who just want to sh*t all over me and my profession today and it’s so heartbreaking & disappointing. I guess maybe you were disappointed by a doctor at some point. We clearly aren’t infallible. We have bad days too. You can see the burnout in the way they make many physicians in clinic practice. I don’t know what to tell you about the guys that are really awful. They do exist. They also aren’t all or even most physicians. Most of what everyone is mad about has nothing to really do with us. It’s policies and laws made bureaucrats, politicians & corps. We simply exist in it. Try to work inside the crazy nonsense ourselves. We’ve never had a “lobby” and it might be interesting to see what things would look like if we actually did. There are people working in this now. But mostly physicians have been too busy just being docs to get all caught up in any of it. There is barely anything left after a week in clinic for my family and some working out let alone some cynical ploy or play to keep it hard for people to become physicians. I don’t know if enough people really understand that. How really taxing and exhausting the work is. I wouldn’t wish the responsibility on anyone either. Heavy is the white coat … This post probably won’t change any minds of the bad faith actors but I do hope it in some way humanizes us to you if only in some small way. I’m just one guy fighting the good fight. On tonight actually and holding down the fort. If any are in need of my expertise, and I hope not (no one meets me in a good day), I’m here.

HRV “measured” at the wrist like with whoop, garmin, fitbit, etc. is a random number generator.

Every man’s TRT journey is fairly similar. I’m going to speak in generalities that cover the highlights. Don’t get bogged down in those weeds. The brush strokes are broad. Usually somewhere around age 35+ guys start feeling “off”. These aren’t lazy guys. Often hard charging guys. Stressful lives and jobs. Family men with a wife, kids, and responsibilities. They notice they’re putting on a bit of weight. But it’s not ridiculous and they decide to get more serious about the gym or exercise and their diet and this keeps much at bay for a long time. This often actually improves things and sometimes by a lot at this stage. Which lasts usually 3-5 years. Then they begin to notice the creep again. As hard charging guys they know they are just being babies and double down on hard but find that doubling down isn’t working. The extra gear they always used to have just doesn’t seem to be there any longer. And for a period of time the extra gear will occasionally rear its head and fool a guy making him think it’s back. But it’s not. It eventually disappears. This is usually the point when the weight begins to slide again. It’s also a common time for many guys to just begin the “giving up” process, “embrace”middle age and getting old and out of shape and fat. The guy that eventually moves onto TRT doesn’t find the giving up satisfactory. At all. He begins to try longer rest periods. He begins looking into why he’s feeling blah with low energy, low motivation, low libido, no gains in the gym, and long recoveries. Hes even mildly depressed. And weight at this point may be sliding up even faster than is comfortable and he knows it. Maybe his wife or kids have said something. Maybe he had to buy new sized pants for the first time in a decade. He’s not stupid and correctly identifies that he’s having symptoms of low testosterone. And he spends the next 18-24 months reading, watching videos and trying supplements. The tongkat, fadogia, fenugreek, tribulus, pine pollen. Maybe he finds the Peaters and goes ham on pregnenolone. He probably sees his regular doctor who argues about checking his testosterone, finally dies grudgingly, and then refuses to do anything about a low number because it’s not low enough. They might also be reading online scolds about giving into treatment with testosterone when all they need to do is be better men. It’s not a medical issue, it’s a … moral one. And the reason that testosterone isn’t naturally high is because they are too fat, don’t eat good, don’t sleep good, and won’t manage their stress (as if quitting their jobs, not making the mortgage, and feeding the kids is an option). They might see an influencer who lives on the beach, single, no kids, sleeps when he wants, works out when he wants, eats fresh local meat, fruit, and veggies only, swims in the ocean every day getting that grounding and that magnesium. High natural T. Looks great. If only … They get told that once you are taking testosterone that you can never stop. Which isn’t true. But the ignorant and the liars seem very persuasive at times. So they stew. Just cook in it. But finally they get sick and tired of being sick and tired and they find a doc who is facile with testosterone in the man with symptomatically low levels. They reach out. They pull that trigger. And … they don’t realize how down bad they were or awful they felt until they start feeling better. And sometimes it’ll take a month or two to notice a huge difference while some guys notice improvements in a few days. The life is changed. He feels confident again and strong. He loses weight. He makes gains in the gym. Him and his wife … get “friendly” 😉 again, regularly. That’s the arc. And if you’re wondering about it reach out to a doc who is familiar. You’re not a bad guy trying to get good. No moral failings. You’re a regular guy that stress, life, and age put into a state. You don’t need to stay there. You don’t. Please don’t. Take it back today.

Name a song that the saxophone didn’t make worse by being annoyingly there.

A decent good chunk percentage of BOTH “long covid” and “mRNA vaccine injured” are psychosomatic. Crazy people love to latch onto an illness that is vague to describe, diagnose, and treat, making it nigh impossible to sort out who has a real issue and who is just … nuts.

Those of us in medicine that think this is a calling, and I do, are suffocating to death in the corporate/big system medical complex. It should be better than this for patients. I envision a new, and perhaps parallel system. All cash based. I think it’s where all good docs will end up eventually. If they don’t simply leave the profession.

It’s an interesting observation but I lost more followers with a single post that the flu looks relatively bad this year and since I’m around it a lot, *I*’m going get a flu vaccine this year, which attenuates severity. Me. Just what I’m doing. Not telling anyone what to do or recommending anyone, not me, do anything in particular. Some of you all need to get a f*cking grip.

I keep tryna love the sweet potatoes but idk guys. It’s tough for me. Regular potatoes are the tip top root/stem tuber. The master race.

This current batch of influenza looks kind of nasty this season. I don’t always get a flu vaccine but I am this year.

I don’t even know how I am still married sometimes. And I don’t think I’m qualified to give anyone advice. So I won’t. I kind of wish someone would have given me a sense though of how hard and beautiful it would be. Sometimes. Being real now. THE only reason we didn’t call it quits was because neither of us was ever thought of quit at the same time. So we maybe got lucky. One of us always holding on and not letting the other go. We both played that role more than once. And it did get hard sometimes. But. Idk. You just hang in there with someone long enough and you just know them. You get disappointed in them and they you. Mistakes get made. Things get said in anger and frustration and sometimes loneliness but you also respect and trust that person. Like. You know who they are. And they’re a good person with flaws just like you. You learn to accept them as flawed but beautiful and they you. And you just grow. The annoying stuff never stops annoying and they know it’s annoying but they try to be better about and so do you. You go through things in this state. And it tests you. Sometimes really hard. You make concessions. And sacrifices. And so do they. One day you realize that you’re a knuckleheaded hardcase full of flaws and despite that you’re got someone in your life who has your back and would stab a mfer in the face to protect you. Wants what is best for you. Your heart melts at the thought. And you give grace like you wouldn’t to anyone else. Because THAT shit matters. And it’s gorgeous. It’s not romantic but REAL.

Has anyone ever wondered why the natives living in this country at the time of Columbus didn’t build their own ships, sail across the Atlantic, and conquer Europe? Or does that kind of get awkward?

Updated “stack”… AM: Citrus Berg 1000mg Nattokinase 12kFU Ubiquinol 100mg Fish Oil 3g Tadalifil 2.5mg Proviron 25mg Tirzepatide or Retatrutide 0.2mg GH 1.2IUs Evening: Rosuvastatin 10mg Flush Niacin 1000mg Telmisartan 20mg Cjc1295/ipamorelin 100/250mcg BPC157/GHK-cut 250mcg/2mg Digestive enzymes 3caps Xymogen Optimag 4caps I take Saturdays off (because: lol) Sundays I’m only taking ADEK plus seaweed iodine Three times per week MWF: NAD+ (50-100mg), sulbutiamine 200mg, B2 I have a couple amino acid blends, I’ll use before workouts (if I remember) (sometimes I just don’t want to inject more stuff) or doing something stressful. Not sure if these will stay long term. Some of my clients love them. Things I’m occasionally sprinkling in here it there. Still not convinced. Not sure if they will ever become part of my long term personal protocol: t3 (12.5-25mcg), methylene blue (25-50mg), oral BPC157 (500-1000mcg) I think lipids are largely dialed. Also, I think it’s ridiculous we don’t normally intervene in “pre-hypertension”with a low dose of medication to get people under 120, especially men (and especially if on TRT). I was regularly in the 120s now I’m 100-119. Dialed. Will reassess need every 3-6 months. I think the peptides will stay. With regular breaks.

What is with you all and mold?! ITS NOT THE MOLD!!

A bunch of bad livers from alcohol on the service today. One isn’t going to make it. I’m going to pull the other two out of the fire. The one dying I’ve personally saved twice in the past. Back to drinking. Always back to it. Alcoholism is such an awful disease.